School stress, amongst other things..

I’m finally back in college after 4 years, I was so excited but here I am second guessing my decision. What is right for me? I have no clue. I have no clue because of the medical issues I’m having, and I think that’s really starting to take a toll on my school work.

When I stay up super late getting work done, I feel so accomplished at the end of the day, but the following day I always regret it. Who doesn’t? Staying up until 3AM when you have to be up at 6 to get the train to school. Every student does something like this, but it’s not like it’s even procrastination. It’s actually getting your work done on time because there’s so much work between every class that it builds up so quickly. So you don’t feel any relief. There’s no stress relief whatsoever, you are filled up with every type of emotion ready to burst because it’s so overwhelming.

I almost wish I could go up too a student who is doing extremely well in all of their classes and just ask them, how? I know we may be under different circumstances especially me dealing with other issues but wow. I cannot imagine a life where I’m passing all of my classes and am actually happy. Which is kind of a sad thought.

I don’t want to quit school because I’ve worked too hard to be where I’m at, I can’t imagine at 23, not doing anything with my life. But that’s where I feel like my life is starting to head. To a place where I’m not accomplishing anything and I just let time pass without it effecting me at all.

Okay so besides the super depressing post, I’m going to a new doctor today, maybe I’ll find answers once and for all, even though it’s highly unlikely. Well I might be told what I don’t want to hear, so I’ll be stuck again. But I have to stay as positive as I can be. 👍🏻


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