As I lay down in my bed at 12PM on a Saturday afternoon, I am happy.
I went to see my dad today. My dad who has been gaining weight (which is good) and I brought him his favorite, a butter cake that he almost ate entirely while I was there. The thought makes me smile. He was so happy to see me and my mom. “My girls” he says every single time we visit. Unfortunately it wasn’t my most comfortable visit with this pacemaker attached to me. Calling myself a robot I showed him my back, the wires and he didn’t have much to say other than that I’ll be okay and “you’re getting yourself together”. I’ve been informing him of my medical issues and that’s what he says all the time, that I’m getting myself together, which is the honest truth. My heart swells with the thought of the smile on his face as he looked at me. Teary eyed he was so happy to have us there.
As soon as I’m better getting my license is the first thing I’m doing because I’d love to spend more time up with him. Even if it was just sitting back and watching TV. We’re very similar in the fact that we don’t mind silence, just the presence of each other is enough and I want to be there for him more often. I often leave him feeling sad, or just content with the visit, but the smile on his face and even the smile in his eyes today were something I haven’t seen in a long time.
My happiness right now has truly overcome any sense of sadness I’ve felt within the past few days. I feel lighter and like I can breathe easily knowing the happiness I brought him today in the form of a visit and in the form of a butter cake.