Something that I’ve taken a long time to completely comprehend and be okay with is putting myself first. I am only one person, I can only handle so much at a time and my life lately has been more than I could normally handle. I’ve learned it is okay to take break and just sit and regulate my breathing when needed. It’s okay to make sure I am okay.
This time last year was the first time someone told me to “take care of myself first”. I blew it off, I wanted and needed to work because I had just got accepted to college after years of putting school off and I knew I would need money to buy books and supplies. It got to the point where I was embarrassed to show up to work because I knew I wouldn’t make through the day and I didn’t want to leave them short handed. Yet there I went out the door crying because I couldn’t do it anymore. I felt guilty every single day, I know I shouldn’t have but I did. After a million times of being told to take care of myself first and that myself is what is most important is when I finally took the time I needed to figure my life and my health out. It’s been almost a year since that decision and I am currently still working on my health issues. Who knew it would take this long? Not me that’s for sure.
I started back at school despite my health issues because we were working on it, I could only make so many different doctors appointments in a certain amount of time. Though over the course of 3 months I couldn’t even handle school anymore. Walking to class was an issue, walking in general was in issue. I can recall walking across campus crying, talking to my mom on the phone because I just needed to stop. I didn’t want a repeat of a few years prior when I was attending school and completely dropped out. Right now, I don’t feel like I did at that point in my life, I know school was and is my top priority under getting myself better. Which is something I am proud to say, that I know I’ll be right back in school this fall, nothing is going to stop me.
Again, at this point I can’t wait to go back to school, if I could go back tomorrow I would but I’m not at my full potential yet. My full potential is yet to come and I hope will make its comeback in the spring. I haven’t been at my full potential in years, though for the first time in years I feel like I’m almost at that point, it’s super exciting and I can feel how amazing my life is going to be when I am able to do what I want and need to do. I’ve accomplished these feelings of greatness over the past year, working on my health and knowing that I will strive one day, I’ll look back and wonder why I ever felt as if I couldn’t accomplish anything I put my mind too.
All in all, this post is about me getting back too my full, outgoing, optimistic self. Yet this post can be used as an example of putting yourself first and the confidence that grows within you when you finally do put yourself first. Be selfish in every sense of the word, take care of what is most important in your life, yourself. You’ll start to see and feel changes that already brighten up your mood essentially seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s there, it’s always been there, finding it is the tricky part but you will. In time you will find your light and your potential, you’ll find and remember every great aspect of your being.