I think I’m going too start a new blog idea, with the totally original name of “Throwback Thursday” or maybe “Throwback Thursdays with KelCar”. So I’ve kept a journal for a decent amount of time now before I started a blog and knew that blogging was popular. I’ve always been one to write as I’ve stated before I find joy and release in writing about anything and everything. This is what I wanted my blog to be like in the first place. About my life, mixed in with some makeup tips, favorite songs of the week/month. Just a whole variety of different topics. So I was thinking I can take the infamous “Throwback Thursday” and make it into a blog post, going back into my journal and finding the nearest date to the day’s date when I’m writing, depending on what is written I can relate to it and write how I’m relating to the same journal entry and/or write good things that have happened on that day so there is positivity in it also. If I don’t have any entries written for a long time in between I may skip “Throwback Thursday” and maybe aim for a different day if I have something close to the date. So for instance, I started my journal in 2011, but it was late 2011, so I have a few February posts but I have one for this exact day four years ago. I can’t always guarantee that I will have a post on the exact day every Thursday though I do this time, but I randomly thought this could be a fun idea, so why not?
Some of my journal entries are long, some of them are extremely short. I’m not going to write the entire post, but I will pick out things that kind of stick out to me, I’ll choose and use them, then relate them to my day, today or my days within past few days or months, whatever I decide.
“Weird day, just because I’m feeling depressed.” “it’s been a while since I’ve felt like this.”
Okay this journal post is literally 3 sentences long so you pretty much know all of what is written down. How can I relate this to my life right now? Hmm, well this week was the first time I went and seen a therapist again, it’s been years since I’ve been to one, but I decided it was best for me with my health issues and more recently than not the depressive feelings I’ve been having. One thing I’m glad I am aware of is when I feel like I can’t take what I am feeling anymore, almost like my thoughts are taking over my entire being. So it makes it easy for me to acknowledge those feelings and do something about them. I know it’s easy to say “just do this and you’ll get over it” or “it’s going to be okay.” Yeah I know at one point it will be, I believe that, but there are things that I can’t just jump over and not feel or have effect me in a negative way. It’s so easy to hold back and I do, but here or just writing in general is where I feel like I can let it out.
As for the positives of the day, there are 11 days until my bladder surgery, and let’s hope it’s my last surgery of 2016. Also, my brother is coming home from school next weekend so it’ll be good to see him. I went to have my post op appointment from my endometriosis surgery and I was extremely happy to tell my doctor how well I’ve been feeling despite the bladder issues. I was extremely grateful to my doctor because she didn’t want to do the surgery necessarily because she thought that it wouldn’t be beneficial if I had one (at that point not even a year prior) and it didn’t help my pain. She told me she was glad that we talked over it a few times and I told her how happy I am that she decided she would do it and she said that she was glad that she actually listens to her patients despite what she may think. Lastly, I sent in my paperwork to return to school in the fall. Something I cannot wait for, I wish it was August and I was in my classes everyday but I still have some recovering to do.
You know I’m extremely glad that there are more positives than negatives in today’s journal entry/actual day today. I feel more positives coming up in my life with how well I’ve been feeling and I hope it continues to stay this way.
*Music I was listening too while writing: Alessia Cara’s album “Know-It-All”