Life · Medical Issues

Preparing Myself For Surgery

Pacemaker, Nerve Stimulator, thing that makes my pain go away. What ever you want to call it, happens tomorrow. The end of a year and a half of pain is hopefully (highly likely) coming to an end tomorrow. It’s almost hard to believe.

In just a few weeks, I’ll be recovered, pain free and able to live the life of an almost 24 year old woman. I can’t wait to go back to school. Something that I’ve been waiting for since last year, and didn’t work out in my favor. 

I can’t wait to finally put all of my time and effort into succeeding in school. Something I was unable to do last fall. I can’t wait to finally declare a major in communications, journalism to be exact because writing is what I absolutely love to do. This small blog of mine is the start, the start of my writing to the public, whether it’s something someone can relate too or something someone may just enjoy reading. Even if nobody were to read these blogs, it’s still something I love to do. 

I don’t want to say “positive thoughts aside” because this should be a positive post, it is. I have so much to look forward too. But within the next 24 hours, I’ll have a ticking pacemaker attached to my bladder. Kind of weird but also a miracle for me, just as I’ve written before when I was going through the trial for the pacemaker. The only con of this situation is the recovery and being even more uncomfortable before I’m actually pain free. 

On February 26th of 2015, I had my second endometriosis surgery, I had absolutely zero relief. Which lead me to be diagnosed with Intersistitial Cystitis and Pelvic Floor Dysfunction. Which lead me to going to physical therapy for the Pelvic Floor Dysfunction. Which lead to not being able to complete the physical therapy activities because of the pain increasing. Which lead me feeling hopeless. Which lead me to where I’m at right now.  (A lot of “which lead” me’s, because this path has been a long one). 

I’ve been mentally preparing myself for this surgery for a while now but this past week has been extremely anxiety filled. But today I can almost feel the anxiety taking over my whole being because at 6AM tomorrow I’ll be sitting in a hospital gown. 

Fingers crossed that this will be my last surgery of 2016. Also that I’ll be attending school in August, possibly working too. 

I’m ready to feel like the new and improved Kelly and despite my anxiety, I can’t wait for myself to feel like I can do anything I set my mind too without any issues… Finally! 

This will be my year. 

(My year is just starting a few months late) 😉

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