I arrived at the hospital at 5:45AM with zero sleep. I barely sleep the night before surgeries, it’s nerve racking of course. My frameless candles were on and I just stared at the ceiling. Thinking of course because whose mind stops when you have a big day the next day? Well really whose mind stops at night time at all if you’re not asleep? That’s when mine is most active it seems.
I was kind of in a trance all morning, repeating my name and birthdate every 2 minutes. But they took me back relativity quickly, was in the operating room one second, in the recovery room the next. The doctor said everything went well, which of course I’m glad about because I’m hoping that this is it. The answer to all of my pain. As far as I know I can start slowly getting off of the medication I’m on now for all of this, but I’m going to confirm it with my doctor again tomorrow. Waking up every morning with medicine, taking something in the afternoon and remembering to take everything again at night time is getting old pretty quick. It’s been old, I’m tired of all of this medication I’m only about to be 24.. (Let’s not think about that because that’s almost 25 and that’s a quarter of my life because you know, my plan is to live until I’m 100. 😉) Anyway, this medication is making me lose my memory. In some cases, I’ll be talking about something and the next second it’s completely gone from my mind, and even if my friends know what I was saying, it doesn’t always come back. So that makes me feel so much older already because at the age of 24 who really loses their memory like that? Hmm I know, it could it worse but it just really bothers me.
Unfortunately I still have to have a little remote control with me still but this time I don’t have to carry it around constantly. It’s interesting to me because I wanted to go into the medical field at one point but it is kind of weird also. I have to plug in a wire to my little remote and hover the one end of the wire over where my pacemaker is, in order for them to make a connection. Again, interesting but weird. I have to keep it close to me for about a week just to make sure there aren’t any glitches with the pacemaker/remote. Then I can walk around without it, only needing it when I feel as if I need to turn the stimulation up or down.
All in all the surgery was a success, I’m extremely sore, kind of like I fell down the steps and bruised my butt to be honest. With time it’ll go away. This morning I was able to go to the bathroom with less pain, already. Then again in time my incisional pain will be gone and I will be my old self who has been trying so hard to reach the surface. I will be a normal 23 almost 24 year old who plans on returning to school in the fall and giving her all to succeed because that is all I want in life. Health and happiness.