I’ve been given 3 weeks to decide. I told my doctor I wanted it out as soon as possible. But she talked me into trying the other “programs”. I’ve been on two, now on three different programs. I wake up every single day with pain, unfortunately like I’ve written before I don’t think this pacemaker is the answer to my pain.
I’ve been thinking lately about turning it off for a few days, seeing how I feel then turning it back on over the weekend. When I turn it back on over the weekend I plan on changing the program, that way I’ll have tried every program, with either success with the last one or no success at all. To be completely honestly the no success route seems to be the way it’s headed.
I turned it off and I’m going to be completely honest, I’m in a lot less pain than I was with it on. Already. Yes, already. The determining factor will be tomorrow morning what I feel like without it. The mornings are the absolutely worst for me so that may be the deciding factor. If I have pain, if I don’t have any pain or if I have pain that I can actually tolerate that would even be fine with me!
If that’s the case next Thursday; I’ll be signing papers to have the pacemaker taken out of me. I’m already leaning towards having it taken out just because of the fact that my pain is there. Though during my last visit she said my pacemaker moved, so she may want to do a “revision” but then that leaves me with another month of potential pain until she can take it out again. Is it sad I’m having a little count down in my head hoping to have this out when just a few months ago I was having a little count down in my head to have it implanted? Things don’t always go as planned. I can probably say that has been the motto of my life for the past year or more.
So let’s hope MY 2016 starts in May, 5 months late but I did what I had to do. I had to try at least right? I’ll be happy with a 5-month late start, at least it’s a start.