***if you’re interested in the Fit Tea you can use my referral link and you’ll get 10% off all of the products!
Every morning, 8:30AM I take 5 pills that have to do with the fit tea. 9AM, I’m usually not hungry aka the pills have done their job so I eat a granola bar. While eating my granola bar I drink my tea that is absolutely magical. It smells amazing. Then I drink water and drink water until I pee like 10+ times a day. Then 30 minutes before lunch 5 more pills and because they’re taken with water it fills me. I made a great looking sandwich the other day but could only eat 3 bites. I guess that’s good? So yesterday was a week since starting the fit tea. I haven’t exercised at all and I lost 5 pounds. Mind you Friday night I ordered pineapple and ham pizza so I was like great. I’m screwing everything up. But nope. 5 pounds and I just walk around my house. Especially now with the pacemaker revision.
Are we surprised that I’m miserable and want this pacemaker taken out? No. I mean you shouldn’t be. I feel like I write more about my health issues rather than positive health things but you know right now my health is more of a problem to me. There haven’t been positive outcomes so why would I be positive? I’m not sad about it, I’m angry. It’s been a long time now that I’ve been out of school, not working, because I literally cannot even walk without any pain.
A 24 year old woman should have graduated from college already. But college takes more than 4 years for a lot of people so it’s okay. My four years haven’t even started, but it’s okay because in 4+ years, however long this takes you better believe I’ll have my degree walking across the stage. Not working because I physically can’t lift things with the chance of one, opening my incision, two, having cysts rupture. What?
I can’t stand because even standing sometimes I’m like okay wait hold on something is happening. I bend over half way and start deep breathing like I’m in labor. Really? These things have yet to be answered. I feel like I’ve been given the go around with doctors because they don’t know what to do anymore. I have appointments and they kind of just shrug their shoulders. So it leaves me to try and figure it out on my own. (And you know looking things up online is not a good idea because you’ll diagnose yourself with something that is far from true).
But all I can do is keep going day by day, that’s what everyone tells me. As much as I hate that, I know that’s what I have to do. No I don’t want to take it day by day I want everything situated right now. But the only options that I have may or may not be answers so why take the risk (ex: a hysterectomy).
I’m doing what I need to be doing and I’ll continue doing so until my questions/prayers are answered.
*i have no clue if this makes sense I’m so umbelieveably tired I just needed a little venting session 😌