August 25th is only one month away. It feels like it’s going to be the biggest most life changing day when in reality I don’t have a clue.
I’ve never thought about my surgeries before like I’m thinking about this one. It’s constantly on my mind, all day and all night because I can barely sleep. If it ever does leave my mind, my pain is happy to remind me about it. Which isn’t necessarily good, but knowing I’m having this surgery to take the pain away should be uplifting. It is, to an extent, but I’ve never been this scared for something. I think I have my hopes really high but I choose not to show them. Which ultimately ends with me being hesitant because I’ve been hopeful three times before.
I’m excited, nervous, hopeful, anxious, any emotion it’s likely I’ve felt or am feeling it about this surgery. I’ve been laying low being that I’m taking myself off of my bladder medication and am having so much pain. But here’s to a life changing experience (hopefully).
31 days to go.