Tomorrow I finally leave for New York and in just two short days I’ll be having surgery. I’ve been waiting 2 months for this. Usually my surgeries are the following week after scheduling them, but this doctor is in extreme high demand. I guess that’s a good thing, right?
I’m currently procrastinating packing because that makes it more real. But also because my pain over the past month just seems to have gotten much worse. I’ve been trying to go out to get my mind off of the pain but I end up needing to come back home. I haven’t been eating or sleeping because my anxiety is at an all time high. I’m just left waiting but it’s pretty much over. But by this time in two days hopefully I’ll be either, out of surgery, about to go into surgery or midsurgery. I’m not sure what time or how long it’ll take but I guess we’ll see.
I haven’t written anything that’s decent in my opinion in a really long time, I just haven’t had the motivation to write. I wish I did because it’s really an outlet for me but when I’m caught up in being really anxious there’s nothing on my mind. Really I just wanted to update my blog today because this surgery even though it’s similar to the other 3 I’ve had is different. I’m nervous but the success rate is unbelievable, I want it to be documented. Anyone who read or donated to the gofundme page, honestly you have a heart of gold, I cannot thank you enough. I also wanted to thank anyone and everyone who has read my blogs about this surgery and my trips to NY in general building up to this point. It’s finally here.
Send some good vibes my way. xo