I tend to write life updates or just blogs in general really often. I never end up posting them because I use writing as a form of therapy and 99% of the time, everything I had written is completely all over the place. I mean, that shouldn’t really stop me from posting them because I’m pretty sure the majority of my blogs are all over the place anyway.
So here goes, I wish I could say a lot of things have changed over the past few months. It’s been a little over three months since my surgery in NYC and I hate to say that nothing has changed for me pain wise. There was a period of three days in a row where I had so much energy and felt like I could do anything but after those few days my pain was back. I’m having a lot of the same pain as well as new pain. I have been back to NYC one or two times so I could have my incision checked out as well as being shown what the doctor had found. No surprise that there was endometriosis and an extreme amount of scar tissue. I did tell the doctor when I seen him that I was still experiencing a lot of pain and because the full six weeks after surgery was not up, he told me that I should give it more time. That was not necessarily what I wanted to hear being that I felt like I was back to where I started when I first when to NYC in May.
Fast forward from late September, here I am. A little over a month ago I woke up one morning and couldn’t walk without pain, I couldn’t put weight on my right leg without feeling sharp pain near my right ovary. I ended up in the emergency room where I had a cyst on my ovary, the size of my ovary. There isn’t anything that can be done for cysts regardless of how painful they may be, action is really only taken when they’re too large to go away on their own. I planned on following up with my doctor in my city because heading to NYC is a hassle, and any treatment he would potentially give me would not be covered by my health insurance. I made an appointment but could not get in fast enough so I was left waiting few weeks. Three weeks had passed, my pain was still present but more tolerable than it was when I couldn’t walk though once again I woke up one morning unable to put any weight on my right leg. This time around I wanted to avoid going to the ER. I ended up staying in bed that day with a heating pad, something I’m too familiar with. I did end up going to the ER later that night though because it hadn’t eased up at all. Once in the hospital, they told me my cyst was still there and that fluid was now surrounding it. Again, nothing could be done so from the next day until I saw my doctor I called constantly asking if I could get in any sooner because I couldn’t deal with the pain anymore.
Finally I made it to the doctor and was told I needed to change my birth control because besides the cyst that wasn’t/hasn’t went away I was bleeding more than I have in the past year. I know on birth control you’re likely to have break through bleeding but I never had an issue like this before after all of the years I had been on birth control. The option I was given was an IUD or a 3 month injection of Lupron. I’ve heard terrible things about both of these forms of birth control but I’ve heard more horror stories with IUD’s so I automatically ruled that out. Before I started seeing my current specialist in Philadelphia, I was seeing one right outside of Philadelphia who had told me about Lupron before and told me “not to look up the reviews” which is was promising… I was given a monthly shot of Lupron instead of the three month injection I will be getting. With the one month injection I was bleeding again and still had horrible pain, to only find myself at my current specialist. After some blood tests my doctor told me that the dosage of the medication I was given was not strong enough which is why I was having issues with it. On Tuesday I’ll be given the three month injection with a much higher dose and I’m terrified. The main side effects of Lupron are the side effects of going into menopause and this medication essentially does put you into menopause because it suppresses your hormones. I’m trying to remain optimistic hoping that this medication does really take my pain away but the anxiety I feel when I think about what I may be feeling when I am on it definitely doesn’t help my optimism. If my pain still lingers even with this medication my doctor said that we can rule out the endometriosis being the main cause of my current pain. So with that, I’ll be lead to dive into more medical excursions.
It’s really unfortunate that endometriosis has made me say “I’m done” on multiple occasions. I’m done with trying anymore, it’s been almost 10 years and nothing has helped me. After my first surgery I did have relief which left me hopeful years later ready to have my second one, but since then my life hasn’t been what is once was. My optimism isn’t nearly has high as it could be, but then again why should I get my hopes up for something that I’m not even sure will work?
*If anyone reading this has been on Lupron before could you give me your thoughts? Maybe tips if there are any, I want to be as prepared as possible. I know the doctor told me not to read reviews but let’s be real I have anyway and I’m really curious*